Refining By Fire
March 16th, 2009
Wow, this last 24 hours have been a roller coaster of emotions and I’m not even talking about Laura’s. I told you all I would post when I had all the details and, although I have not personally spoken to Laura, she has been in contact with my parents throughout the day today.
Our first indicator that something was wrong came when Laura was back in Rainey Pass Checkpoint. At only 189 race miles she was already concerned with how her team looked. Now, this team regularly races 200-300 miles easily so it seemed strange that they were already showing signs of soreness. Laura slowed her pace down to a crawl and imposed longer rest periods in between runs. She also increased the massages the dogs were receiving. My family and I noticed the longer rest periods and began to wonder if something was wrong. I know Laura’s normal race strategy and she was increasing the rest periods by 2 or more hours. The confusing factor was that from the Iditarod website the weather looked great for running. We now know that the winds were a lot stronger than indicated by the Storm Center linked to the Iditarod site. I went back to the site and watched live footage from Eagle Island and the mushers were all trying their hardest to find some shelter for their teams, trails were drifted 3’+, and wind chill was dropping to -60°. All of this is difficult to say the least but as a seasoned musher Laura would not have had a problem going through these conditions. Her team has trained in all of these conditions and not only does fine in them but come out with tails wagging on the other side. If Laura had a tail it would probably wag coming out of these conditions too; it’s all part of the adventure! There was only one big difference with this particular race. Every dog that Laura had to drop along the way was a leader (front position in the team). Laura was down to two leaders and was going to have to drop one at Grayling. Aspen, her last remaining leader was doing wonderful, barking and ready to go but a musher can’t ask one dog to lead for 500 miles. Leading takes a lot of mental energy and it’s important that the leads be switched out regularly to be given mental breaks. It would have been too much to ask of Aspen to lead and not have a mental break for the rest of the race.
As much as this decision would have been hard, even heart breaking for Laura to make, I know she would never ask her dogs to give her more than they are able. Not in the name of racing, not for her own fame and glory. Her dogs trust her to make the best decisions for them, to protect them from the elements, and to even protect them from their natural drive to run. Laura cried last night as she spoke to Dad. She knew what she had to do and it was not easy for her. Lest you take her tears lightly, let me tell you this. My sister doesn’t cry. I am the emotional one. If I see a Hallmark commercial I am tearing up. Although my sister is very compassionate and loving, it takes a major heartbreak to cause tears. I know part of the reason for her tears comes from hating to give up, the other is from feeling she has let so many people down. She knows that people from around the world follow her and children in classrooms internationally check her progress daily. She will feel that she is failing all those people. What she doesn’t realize is that even in scratching from the race she has shown her character to be above reproach. She is an example to us even in this: She is willing to put the well being of others before her own desires even when her heart longs for what is being put aside.
Laura has always told us that if a person runs the Iditarod it is not a matter of if you will scratch but when. I know that in her head she knows this to be true but I also know that it will take time for her head to win out over what her heart feels right now. Like I said earlier, she has trained for all of the difficult conditions she will ever face on the trail but she could never train for this moment. How do you train to scratch? For Laura it will feel like quitting and how do you train to quit? Well, I guess this is the only way, by living it.
My heart breaks for my sister but she will come out of this stronger than when she went in. For that I will be thankful. She is amazing to me, not despite of this, but even more so, because of this. I can’t imagine her needing to have more character built but that is what this will do for her. She, like gold, will be refined by the trials and fire she goes through. The more she endures the more pure she becomes.
I love you Laura, there is nothing that will ever change that. I know that what you face in the next few months is going to be a challenge. Your faith and the love that we all have for you will lend you strength. You know that the reason you race is not for the first place, it never has been. It’s always been about so much more than that. People have recognized the light of love that shines from you and even in this they will see that same light. You have not failed to win, you never do. When you run for the right reasons you always come in the front of the pack. Even now, you have shown that you truly have what it takes to “run” in this race called life. Chin up Sis’, we’ll all be here cheering when you get home!